• Alice Godber

I Knew

I knew you were okay

I knew you had been in an accident

I checked my phone to see twenty missed calls


I knew you were okay

I knew you were on your way to cricket

We had argued that day


I knew you were okay

I cooked you tea

But you ate alone... I’m so sorry


I knew you were okay

But I was angry

I was eighteen years old, that’s not a valid excuse


I knew you were okay

I knew mum was racing to get to me

I knew my brother was rushing home

I waited for them


A knock at the door

I saw their green coats

Not for a second did I worry

Because I knew you were okay


I opened the door

”I know, I know, I know...

he’s been in an accident but he’s getting help”


They froze

They asked if they could come in

Could I take a seat, I should sit down

I knew because I checked my phone to see twenty missed calls

You were getting help


They told me

They told me you had been in an accident

They told me you died

There was nothing they could do


I thought you were okay

I didn’t know

I was so convinced I knew

But I didn’t know.

By Alice Godber

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